


Set In Motion

by OptimisticallyCynical



Series: Breaking The Hawk [26]
Category: Cobra Kai (Web Series)
Genre: Brotp, Hawk finally sorting his shit out, M/M, Realization, Recovery, Robby being a good friend, open communication
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-08
Updated: 2021-02-08
Packaged: 2021-03-14 07:13:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,694
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29291925
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OptimisticallyCynical/pseuds/OptimisticallyCynical
Summary: When Robby calls Hawk out on his self destructive behaviour, it finally dawns on Hawk just how bad it is. Looks like maybe it's time for him to start thinking about mending some fences.
Relationships: Demetri/Eli "Hawk" Moskowitz
Series: Breaking The Hawk [26]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2103372
Comments: 34
Kudos: 87





	Set In Motion

**Author's Note:**

> I enjoyed writing this one. :) And I hope you guys enjoy reading it! :D

_“_ _Consider your wings clipped bitch.”_

He could still feel the heat of Kylar’s breath hissing the words against his ear. The sinking feeling that had taken the air out of his lungs when he’d been pinned down, unable to so much as defend himself, left his breath hitching.

Hawk gritted his teeth when he felt Robby’s hands pressing the edges of the wound on his arm together before applying the next set of butterfly bandages.

“Okay, so, confession time.” Robby muttered, the first words he’d spoken since he’d sent Miguel and Demetri out. “From what Miguel said, you contacted the Cobras.”

He couldn’t hide the flinch that pulled at his features, quickly trying to recover by forcing out a little laugh.

He winced when the action pulled at the freshly dressed wound on his back.

Fuck, ow.

“I was getting bored.” He shrugged. “I’m not use to not having anyone to fight. Figured they’d be up for it.”

Any false amusement he’d had died when Robby lifted his gaze from the cut he was working on to stare him down with a pointed look.

“They could have killed you Hawk.”

He couldn’t hold Robby’s gaze, looking away, breathing in deeper to aggravate his injury, focusing on the pain.

The silence stretched between them, the feeling of the others eyes burning at his skin the longer it went on.

“Is that what you were hoping for?”

The question was said so silently, so softly, that for a moment it’s meaning went over Hawk’s head. Than he realized what Robby was actually saying, what he was implying, and he felt his temper flare.

“Of course not!” He snapped, “I’m not some kind of fucking pussy!”

Robby’s hold on his wrist tightened, not enough to hurt but enough to recenter his thoughts, pulling him back almost immediately from his lash of anger, his tongue darting out to wet his lips while he really gave it some thought.

He hadn’t been trying to get himself killed. Had he? There was no way that he could have known that the Cobras were going to show up with knifes, he’d brought batons sure, but that was mostly just because he knew that they were going to out number him. He wasn’t a complete idiot.

But he’d still provoked them knowing what they were like, how far they were willing to go. Honestly the whole knife thing shouldn’t have been as much of a shock as he allowed it to be. He should have seen it coming from a mile away.

Still, he wouldn’t have... he didn’t...

“I-I don’t know.”

Because he didn’t. And the realization of that fact sent a chill into his veins.

Suddenly it was hard to breath, one hand reaching up to grasp at his throat as if that would somehow help while the other reached out to grab onto anything he could. He felt Robby’s fingers intertwining with his, squeezing as his vision swam.

His blackout drunk night slammed into him crystal clear. The building, the alcohol, the utter self loathing. The way he’d figured that everyone would be better off without.

Him climbing on the ledge with a smile on his face.

Miguel yanking him off and them both crashing to the ground.

Than the railing at the beach, the 30 foot drop that could have very easily killed him. The way he’d laughed every time he’d nearly slipped.

The fight at the school, the way he couldn’t seem to stop provoking everyone he knew, as if he wanted them to hurt him. The way he was constantly digging into his own wounds, using the pain to distract himself from thoughts he couldn’t control.

He could still remember the thought that had run through his head when he’d heard Demetri crying out for him to run. When they’d locked eyes just before everything went down, the way Demetri had been trying to plead with him to leave.

And Hawk had been amused by it. He’d wanted to see how well he could do in the face of such a lethal challenge. Had gleefully thrown himself into the mess.

All of his actions so far, was he thriving off the adrenaline? Or was he giddy at the thought that one day his luck would run out and he’d be dead?

Was he seriously that fucked up? Had he really allowed everything in his life to get that bad?

“Breath Hawk,” Robby’s words were like a lifeline being thrown into the sea of the violent waves of his thoughts. “In,” he mummer, Hawk struggling to follow along, “and out.”

He followed along to the low mummer of Robby’s words until he could quiet the raging voices and accusations in his mind. The rhythmic pressure of Robby’s fingers squeezing his hand helping him to slow down with the tempo.

It didn’t help his shaking though. Or the way he couldn’t stop the tears from rolling down his cheeks in river like streams.

So he ducked his head, wanting to hide his face to try and at least quell some of the embarrassment and shame that burned along his skin.

“I’m sorry.” He found himself blurting out pass trembling lips. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.”

He repeated the two words over and over again like a chant, unable to stop himself as he dropped his head to Robby’s shoulder. He wasn’t even sure which one thing he was apologizing for, so many reasons popping to the forefront of his mind, each one worst than the last.

Robby didn’t once interrupt him though, allowing him to cry until his tears ran out, allowing him to repeat his mantra until his throat went dry.

Slowly, Hawk’s breathing reduced to a crawl, his whole body feeling drained as he ran out of energy to keep going.

He felt empty, like he’d been hollowed out and left with nothing, but it wasn’t necessarily a bad feeling. It was almost comforting in away. It was as if everything he’d been struggling to contain just came bursting out in one brutal wave of emotions and now he was left standing where the ocean had been in a vast layout of land.

Taking in a deep breath, not even having the energy to wince at the pain it cause, he pushed himself away from Robby’s shoulder, wiping at his face with his free hand but refusing to separate his other from Robby’s hold. The constant pressure was comforting, stabilizing, he wasn’t ready to let that go yet.

“I think I’ve fucked up big time.” His words came out like a croak, his throat absolutely ruined from how hard he’d been crying.

Gently, Robby rubbed small circles with his thumb against the back of Hawk’s hand. “What do you want to do?”

His question finally brought Hawk’s eyes up to meet the deep brown stare that waited patiently for his reply.

There was something that he could do? Hadn’t he messed up severely enough that his mistakes were irreversible?

But Robby hadn’t asked what he was **going** to do, only what he **wanted** to do and if he was allowed to want things he knew just what that was.

“I-I want to fix things with Demetri,” He stuttered, “and Miguel, and- everyone really.” He hated the whimper that came out with the words. “I want to tell them I’m sorry. For everything.”

Just saying those words made his chest feel lighter.

But he knew it would never happen.

“Why don’t you start with that than?”

He startled at Robby’s response, almost pulling his hand away only for the hold to tighten and keep him in place.

So instead he shook his head, his heart pounding hard in his chest.

“They’d never forgive me.”

“That’s not the point of apologizing.” Robby answered, “they don’t have to forgive you, but they should have the option too do so.”

Rubbing at his eyes again when a now all to familiar burn started up, Hawk knew that Robby was right.

He owed a lot of people an apology for his incredibly shitty behaviour, and if they decided to tell him to go to hell? Well, he had that coming. To not go through with it would be cowardly, and if there was one thing Hawk wasn’t it was a coward.

Letting out a long sigh he gave one last wipe to his eyes before lifting them back up to Robby.

“Okay, I’ll do it than.”

The proud smile that bloomed over Robby’s face brought the corners of Hawk’s own lips up, finally allowed Robby to pull his hand away so he could finish applying the last few butterfly band aids to his arm.

“Did you want to get started now?” Robby suddenly asked, Hawk feeling his body tense at the thought. “Because I believe Demetri might still be sitting outside the door.”

The idea that Demetri hadn’t left, that he’d stuck around out of sight after they’d kicked him out made a bright flush come to Hawk’s cheeks.

Sinking his teeth into his bottom lip his eyes glanced over to the door, wondering if that was true and if Demetri was just sitting outside on the walkway. Waiting to check on him.

Or maybe he was waiting to yell at him. Maybe if Hawk did let him in and begged to say sorry Demetri would just shove the words back in his face and tell him to fuck off.

The thought of being so thoroughly rejected scared him more than he cared to admit.

But only losers let their fears stop them.

Winners struck first and hard.

Taking in one last steadying breath Hawk gave a firm nod of his head.

“Yeah, now sounds good.”

Every apology after this one would be a cakewalk.

Hawk just hoped he didn’t screw it up.

Robby gave a comforting pat to his uninjured arm, picking up Chewie and dropping him in Hawk’s lap before getting to his feet.

Hoping to distract himself Hawk looked down and admired the others first aid skills, admittedly impressed.

And than he heard the door open and he froze.

“Knew you would stick around.”

Well, here goes everything.


End file.
